Black Men: White Women and Black Lust
I can recall over the years as a child growing up, overhearing what white women found attractive about black men. My Mother had a colleague that dated black men and would often express what she found so compelling about thereof. She lived just across the street which meant that she would come by to gossip every so often which allowed me to eavesdrop just a bit. If my memory serves me, the man she dated was abusive and the relationship was always in turmoil. Nevertheless, her fixation seemed to have always centered on the physical aspects more than anything else. In fact, I never recall hearing a single word that praised him for being anything other than the common stereotypes affixed to black men-good sex, etc.
The question that has always intrigued me is why is that? Why are black men only known for being sexual beast with a mythical stigma of the Mandingo influence?
I have never heard any white woman state as one of the attributes of black men they found an attraction to was their intellect or any other meaningful attribute.
This video I came across peaked my interest on just what other particulars white women desire of black men .It is my impression that the young lady in the video felt as though her apology for why white women find black men attractive was flattering and honorable. I do not think she realized just how damaging and confirming her apology is.
The following items are reasons listed by the young lady as attributes that are the essence of attraction when it comes to black men as it concerns white women.
Why Do White Women Date Black Men?
Style – They have style; the way they dress.
Scent – They wear cologne; they smell good.
Confidence – They have confidence in the way they approach women; confident with the way they approach women with a big booty.
Dance – They can dance; it’s an innate trait.
Sex – Black men can lay it down; they pride themselves on pleasing their woman. Black men are stigmatized, racialized, and marginalized already by society and the last thing they would want to be put down for is not being able to satisfy their woman. For black men sex is a pride thing.
Body – They are built; genetically they are more athletic, more muscular, and this goes back to the slavery days when the strongest male slave was bred with the strongest female slave. This happened over, and over again, and survival of the fittest is the end result.
Booty – They have a really nice round booty.
Lips – They have full lips.
Not Racist – They aren’t racists because if they were they would not be with white women.
Skin Contrast – White women like the contrast between the black skin and white skin.
Swag – The way they walk, talk, and have a style that’s all encompassing. Everything about them is cool they just have a certain edge to them.
This rather short list of attributes are the end result of what seems to me to have been a well thought out and exhaustive exercise of thought. The written list held in her hands would be evident of that effort.
So if there is nothing wrong, generally speaking, concerning these said attributes of black men, why am I thus insulted?
Stereotypes or Something More?
What is a stereotype?:
stereotype |ˈsterēəˌtīp, ˈsti(ə)r-| noun
1 a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing: the stereotype of the woman as the carer | sexual and racial stereotypes.
• a person or thing that conforms to a stereotypical image: don’t treat anyone as a stereotype.
For my understanding, stereotypes can only work when they are fundamentally based on real observations and demonstrable over a reasonable portion of its subject be it people or otherwise. Of course stereotypes can and often are grossly exaggerated but having said that, they can only be applicable in the least sense so long as they are found to be plainly observable.
Black men have been stereotyped and stigmatized for what seems forever; they have large genetalia (think Mandingo), strong built physique (brutes), nice gluteus maximus (booty), etc. But the question for me is whether or not these stereotypes are reasonable and sustainable in nature.
It would be foolish to say that theses attributes are not realized as phenotypical in nature. But I would not say that they are absolutes as tremendous variations are observable amongst black men as a whole. Furthermore this true among all peoples within any given group.
What I am troubled by is not so much as what she states in the video but more so that which she seems to never consider to apply to the image.
There are no mentions of black men regarding intelligence, being good fathers, husbands, providers or good protectors. There are no mentions of good role models for their children, or having good foresight for building families.
I could go on but this is sufficient.
Instead what I find are lustful admirations towards the sexualization so commonly stereotypical towards black men. There is nothing more in this account that even hints remotely at anything meaningful or real merit.
Are black men reduced to the level of sexualized, mindless brutes that bring nothing more to a relationship than their sexual prowess?
I as a black man, find this ‘apology‘ of sorts disturbing. There is nothing in this video that asserts honor, respect, or prestige for the black man’s image unless this is what you only perceive him to be.
Upon further consideration, I am unable to make a sustainable argument against these generalized stereotypes of black men. I can find very little evidence that would support an argument otherwise and thus am closed mouthed and limited only to accepting the irrefutable-that black men show no cause to consider otherwise until further notice.
There are exceptions of course. But I am sad to say that it is of limited consideration and having far less the representation necessary than otherwise.
Well, I’ll be damned.